Don't file your fingernails in church
Well - it seems that filing your nails is the most recent of the acceptable things to do at church. Yep. I was on the second row at church and I kept hearing this NOISE. I very carefully looked around, as the gentle SAWING noise kept on and on. I kept looking at Dianne like " You don't hear that???" I finally spotted the nail filer - she was at the end of my row. I had never seen her before - so perhaps she does not know that personal grooming is best done before the service or after - just not during. She had not one but TWO files out. I'm not even sure how you do two at once. On and on it went - my toes curled - not because I was upset at her - but because it was like fingernails on a chalk board or chinese water torture -- on and on and on. The longer she sawed - the longer the message got -- then I got "tickled" -- never a good thing if you are on the second row.
Why is it so hard NOT to laugh when you are in church??? I do okay unless my shoulders start shaking and everyone behind me thinks that either a) I am laughing in church during a supurb message or b) I have had a breakdown or c) I am under serious conviction. So,I got my composure and I settled in to the gentle sawing noise with the preaching in the backgroud! I'm glad there was not a test at the end!!
The funniest things happen at church -- I'd love to hear some from my blogging buddies - what is your recent funny church moment??
Why is it so hard NOT to laugh when you are in church??? I do okay unless my shoulders start shaking and everyone behind me thinks that either a) I am laughing in church during a supurb message or b) I have had a breakdown or c) I am under serious conviction. So,I got my composure and I settled in to the gentle sawing noise with the preaching in the backgroud! I'm glad there was not a test at the end!!
The funniest things happen at church -- I'd love to hear some from my blogging buddies - what is your recent funny church moment??
posted by Julie | 9:35 PM
12 Comments:
I will have to think of a recent funny church moment, but I do have to say that I laughed out loud at the name of your post! Man, you didn't waste any time in getting home and getting that off your chest, did you?? GOOD GIRL! I am proud of you! Thanks for your time tonight. Dinner was great.
I'll have to think about a funny church moment, but I will have to say that I have a terrible time keeping my composure in church. I get tickled at the worst times and I'm thinking most of them were in the choir with you, Dianne and Michelle!
I didn't hear file-gate going on, but I had my own distractions. Just ask Richard and Beth...and Tommy and Michelle as we were sandwiched between the two couples. My bunch could not sit still....wanting to lay down and go to sleep. Of course, Josh had fallen to sleep before I got off the platform, so I couldn't do anything about that.
Julia was having a fit that Josh was allowed to sleep and she wasn't. She kept saying there was nothing to do in church. Uh....try listening to the Pastor!!!
Jennifer,
It will be ok. Parker had his "first night" in church and was an angel. Aubrey on the other hand....well, let's just say was NOT an angel. Just take two valium and call us in the morning.......OR IN realestate girls case just O.D. on Tylenol PM and enjoy the sleep...
There was that time when Irvin was out and I was leading the choir/orch. opener. My baton went flying into the air and landed just in front of Dr. Carter's foot on the platform. The entire front row of the choir absolutely lost it! The following Wednesday I was presented with a new baton complete with wrist strap.
Gary, it seems like I remember that, and you are right....that was toooooo funny! Those were the days!
ok...I'll go ahead and throw myself under the bus. Not too terribly long ago, when HC was singing, we were getting ready to head onto the platform to help lead in Worship....Richard looks at me, as I was on the end of the row, and says, "Now."...So what do I do...I get up and make my way around the piano and out onto the platform.
Problem. I forgot there was baptism. I look around and realize I am the only one out there. Mortified, I went back and sat down in the choir loft. I could have strangled Richard. Of course, the Choir thought it was hysterical.
There was the time at Jonesboro when Zack was one of the 3 King's giftbearers, but he was carrying a rolled up carpet...well, he tripped on it and fell under the King's robe and after the king knelt and then got up to walk away, Zack came rolling out from his robe. Too funny! I think that whole side of the Living Christmas Tree was shaking from laughter.
Jules,
I wrote a comment on realestate girls blog for you!! REGARDING CATS VS DOGS.......
RED RANGER
My 6 year old daughter comes up with great one-liners during church. The latest being this: Our pastor was done with his sermon, he's praying. Dead silent church. In her loudest voice, Georgia says "Is the boring part finally over?"
Our first week at our church, she looked at me during the sermon and loudly pronnounced "This is so lame". The pastor is married to a good friend of mine so I couldn't wait to pass that on.
Oh and here's another one. A few weeks ago, he was talking about the Jews and the Gentiles. He kept saying "Jews" "Jews" and Georgia says to me "Why does he keep talking about juice, he's making me thirsty"
Julie...you are soooo cwazy. Guess who? Hint...I have a mustache and you don't. (or do you?)
mmmmm....... let's see, could my anonymous friend be.....
RL? Not sure-give me another hint --but I do not have a mustache for the record...LOL
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